Fabric
by The Austenite
Summary: Tori experiences love and loss, far deeper and more visceral than she would have guessed. Sequel to Thread and Needle.


**Author's Note: **This is quite possibly the end to the series, though I may pick it back up again at a later date. Warning: ANGST.

**

* * *

**_She never slows down  
She doesn't know why but  
she knows that when  
She's all alone feels  
Like it's all coming down  
She won't turn around  
The shadows are long  
And she fears if she cries  
That first tear  
The tears will not stop  
Raining down_

_So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day what's lost can be found  
You stand in the rain_

_She won't make a sound  
Alone in this fight with herself  
And the fears whispering  
If she stands, she'll fall down  
She wants to be found but  
The only way out is through  
everything she's running from  
Wants to give up and lie down_

_So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day what's lost can be found  
You stand in the rain_

_So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
Stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day what's lost can be found_

_So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day what's lost can be found  
You stand in the rain_

_Stand in the Rain, Superchic[k]_

_

* * *

_

**Fabric**

It was an apparently normal month. Lothor sent monsters, the Rangers fought them, Lothor made them big, and the Rangers defeated them. All in all, very normal.

Cam stared at the empty tea mug, placed neatly by the sink, and the Advil left untouched. Normally, by this time, Tori would actually be in bed, instead of out surfing. This was not normal.

Alarm bells sounded in Cam's head.

Tori entered the kitchen a couple of minutes later, scrubbing her scalp with a towel. She'd obviously taken a shower and she wore her ninja uniform, but she glowed with good health. "What's up, Cam?" she teased. "Did I get up before you?"

Cam turned to her. "You left the Advil."

His tone was bland, but Tori bristled nonetheless. "I didn't need it this morning."

Cam's eyes narrowed. "Your cycle is regular."

Tori smiled easily, shaking out her long blonde hair. "Cam, it's okay. It's been a couple of days late before. Don't worry about it."

She exited the kitchen, leaving Cam to watch her go. An expression of worry settled in his eyes. This could be bad. This could be very, very bad.

A week later, the Advil still lay untouched. Despite her easy words to the computer genius, Tori was beginning to get worried herself. She and Blake had slept together only once, and that was after the she was transported to the alternate dimension. That was…she started to count backwards on her fingers.

_Oh shit._

That morning, there was a pregnancy test left for her by her morning tea.

* * *

It was still early enough that the boys wouldn't be showing up at Ninja Ops. Tori padded into the main room, holding the pregnancy test. Unlike earlier, her complexion was pale and her eyes a little too wide.

Cam heard her. He turned in his chair, took in her reaction. "I suppose that answers my question," he said softly.

Tori sat down with a thump in front of him. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

Cam hesitated, before holding a hand above her head. He began to stroke her hair, in the way a friend would during a crisis.

Tori crumpled.

She placed her face in her hands, her body racked with silent sobs. Cam slid from his chair to kneel beside her, sill stroking her hair. She leaned against him, crying no longer into her hands but his shoulder, instead.

Cam didn't know how long they sat there, Tori curled into him with his arm around her. At one point, his father wheeled himself in, saw the tableau, and promptly wheeled himself out.

Finally, Tori stilled. "We used protection," she whispered. "I don't understand."

Cam, for once, remained quiet.

Tori pushed herself up. "What should I do?" she asked Cam flatly.

He blinked at her. "What do you want to do?"

Tori bit her lip. "Common sense tells me to abort, since Lothor is still an issue," she said reluctantly. Cam waited. "But…"

"But…" Cam prodded.

Tori's blue eyes were suddenly defiant. "I want this baby. It's not practical, but I do."

"Will you tell the others?" Cam wanted to know, folding his arms. "They deserve to know."

"They'll take this wildly out of proportion and demand that I stay back for battles," Tori sighed. "If I am allowed to go into battle, they'll be so busy defending me that they won't fight their own battles."

Cam heard this sentence and deduced its meaning. "They deserve to know."

Tori's shoulders slumped. "I'll tell them. Just…not now. I doubt Sensei would like it if Shane tried to kill Blake."

Cam was distracted. "You're right," he told her reluctantly. "But you_ will_ tell them?" he demanded.

Tori nodded in the affirmative. "Of course."

_

* * *

_

For two months, Tori watched her belly swell. It wasn't very noticeable—if Cam hadn't known, even he wouldn't have guessed. From the pictures of Tori's mom when Tina Hanson was pregnant, it was a genetic trait, apparently.

It was after Eyesac, and they all needed to spend time with each other, doing something stupid and mindless like eat pizza and watch Monty Python.

When Tori got a whiff of her normal favorite pizza, green became acquainted with her pale complexion. Blake, who was sitting next to her, nudged her. "You okay?" he whispered under the combined din of Dustin and Shane.

Tori gulped, breathing shallowly through her nose. "I—no. I need to go to the bathroom." She darted up, all but streaking to the bathroom. Blake watched her go, unaware of Cam watching him.

_She hasn't told them yet._

_

* * *

_

Two weeks later, the baby kicked for the first time, and Tori relented. She told her mother, who, unlike Tori's initial expectation, began to squeal in excitement.

"A baby? I'm going to be a grandmother!" Tina paused. She looked at Tori. "Blake is the father, yes?"

Tori rolled her eyes.

"Ooh," Tina squealed again. "We need to take you to the doctor, make sure you're okay! I can't wait to see what my future grandchild will look like! I wonder if it's a girl, or a boy." She eyed Tori critically. "Probably a boy. I'm the only girl out of three kids, and your dad had two other brothers. Do you know anything about Blake's medical history?"

Tori shook her head. Shock made her throat go dry, and she swallowed. "Mom, you're not worried that I was stupid, or we didn't use protection?"

Tina rolled her eyes. "Tori, I trust you. If you ended up pregnant, it's okay. I still love you. I'd always hoped to have grandchildren from you, though not quite so soon. I'm too young to be called 'Grandma'. I know you're responsible. Don't worry about this—I'm on your side 100%."

Tori forced down the sudden tears. "Damn hormones," she groused to her mother, going for a tissue. "I'm constantly weepy."

"So was I, dear girl," Tina said cheerfully. "So was I."

* * *

Kapri was watching the monitor from sheer boredom. The Wind Rangers hadn't done anything particularly worthy of note lately, and they hadn't attacked. It was an uneasy truce, one she didn't like. The atmosphere was similar to the air before a storm—that heavy, humid, choking blanket.

She scanned the monitor one last time, intending to go do something else, when something caught her eye.

The Blue Wind Ranger and someone else who looked enough like her to be her mother were standing outside of a doctor's office, holding some pictures. Curiosity won over her boredom, and Kapri zoomed in on the monitor, recognizing the doctor's office as an OB/GYN. With further detail, she saw that the Blue Wind was holding her stomach as she and her mother crooned over her pictures.

Kapri's eyes widened. "Lothor!" she screeched, leaving the monitor room to go find her uncle.

Behind her, unnoticed, Zurgane lurked. He too examined the monitor, before smirking to himself. He toyed with his sword handles as he, too, left the room.

* * *

An hour later, Lothor summoned all of his generals to the meeting hall. "Generals," he greeted, pacing back and forth before his throne. "It has come to my attention that the Blue Wind Ranger is…" he paused, and all of his generals took a collective breath, expecting to hear the worst. "is pregnant."

"Sir, don't you think this is the time to strike?" Zurgane urged from his corner. "While the Blue Wind Ranger is vulnerable?"

"No," Lothor ordered, stopping. "We go lighter on her."

"But, sir, why?" Zurgane protested.

Lothor faced his outspoken general, looking angry. "I am pro-life," he said slowly. "Clearly, the Blue Wind Ranger intends to take her unborn child to term. We do not attack her."

Zurgane subsided, muttering to himself. They had a chance for victory here, and Lothor preferred to let it pass by. Well, he had some contacts who would swear he had nothing to do with it.

_

* * *

_

Tori was beginning to panic. These aliens she was fighting seemed particularly smart—they wouldn't let her morph, because the Power would protect her from most injuries—including her unborn child.

They'd found it was a little girl, and upon getting the pictures, Tori resolved to tell Blake. But as she was on her way to Ninja Ops, these aliens ambushed her. Every time she tried to morph, they shot at her wrist. Her wrist was covered in burns.

They seemed to be aiming for her lower abdomen, but she'd managed to deflect. Finally, she pulled up a whip of water, forcing the aliens away from her just as Shane and Hunter came riding up on their bikes, already morphed. They pulled to a stop in front of her, shooting at the aliens and giving her time to morph.

The aliens disappeared, and Tori had never been so happy to pull on the blue spandex suit.

* * *

Two days later, Tori still hadn't found a good time to tell Blake of her pregnancy. While Hunter turned out to be okay, she still didn't want to tell him that she and Blake had slept together. Hunter might not take it well.

The pictures were burning holes in her back pocket. She was in the middle of her second trimester, and she'd been toying with names, though she wanted Blake's input when she told him. She'd settled on Blaise, a pretty enough name.

Her communicator beeped, and Tori realized those aliens from a couple of days earlier had showed up again. To be on the safe side, she showed up to the scene, morphed.

It didn't help.

It had seemed pretty standard—they'd all decided to take the aliens one on one. These fighters were silent, unusually so, and Tori began to suspect they weren't part of Lothor's army, but hired…something. Thugs? They seemed a bit too smart for that.

That was her last thought before her opponent (who she'd discovered had the power of controlling electricity) slammed a glowing hand directly onto her abdomen.

Tori remembers screaming in pain, not for her, but for little Blaise. As she flew backward, demorphing in midair, she clutched her midsection and screeched. She felt blood painting her clothes and the pain was unbearable.

Completely out of her mind with worry, she streaked away, leaving her teammates to stare at her in bafflement.

* * *

Her baby is gone. Little Blaise is gone before she had a chance to live, to meet her father, the overprotective uncles, the grandfather who was turned into a guinea pig, the grandmother who would have insisted on being called 'Tina' not 'Grandma'.

Blaise is gone before she ever met her mother.

* * *

It doesn't take the team long before they figure out that something's majorly wrong with Tori. She only comes out of her room to go to the bathroom or eat, and she does both when no one's around. Dustin finds the pictures of the baby in utero by the sink, but, true to form, he keeps them to himself.

Finally, Shane can't take it anymore, and he all but kicks the door down one night to talk to her.

Tori's curled up in a corner, away from her bed, fast asleep. Shane at least thinks she's asleep, since her eyes are screwed shut. But sleeping people don't cry.

Shane pads over to her. She doesn't acknowledge him, whimpering only slightly when he wraps his arms around her.

"What were you going to name the baby?" he finds himself asking, smoothing her greasy hair back away from her forehead.

She doesn't even ask how he knows, though if she did, he would've listed the unusual weepiness, the fact she could only eat miso soup when normally she hates miso soup, the strange protectiveness Cam exudes whenever Cam's around her, or even the fact that she's been surfing for 14 straight weeks now. Instead, all she says is, "Blaise."

"Pretty name," Shane observes. "What would've been her last name?"

"Hanson," Tori muttered into his chest. "I bore her, she gets my name."

Shane laughed once. "Did you get to tell Blake, before…?"

Tori's already shaking her head. "Don't tell him," she pleads. "I—I can't deal with it. Not right now."

Shane nods, leaning his cheek against her hair. He feels her wrap an arm around his waist, her shoulders jerking in sobs again. For right now, all Shane can do is hold her.

* * *

A day after the acknowledgement of her grief, Tori reappears to the group. Her hair is lank and greasy, her skin pale, and her eyes are reddened form all of her crying, but she's still there, still tangible.

Blake's the first one to stand and stride across the room. He hovers hesitantly in front of her, allowing her to be the one to decide to fall into his arms. He cradles her, but Tori has no tears left, and no explanation to offer. Tori still allows Blake to hold her hand, but she turns to Cam to ask, "What aliens were they?"

Hunter opens his mouth, anger shimmering in his blue eyes, no doubt to demand an excuse, but Shane kicks his shin in a_ Not Now_ manner. Hunter closes his mouth.

Through the exchange, Tori pretended to ignore the other blond, listening to Cam's explanation that he…didn't know, except now that they've—Cam carefully avoided words like 'hurt' or 'injured' – her, they left. He was running through all of his data, he assured them, to see if anything came up.

The discussion was halted when the monitors beeped—Kapri had appeared in the quarry, holding onto a bag and looking ashamed. Through the tinny speakers of the computer, all of them heard, "I want to talk to the Blue Wind Ranger!"

Tori's brow creased slightly. Cam was already running scans to see if Kapri had come accompanied. To his surprise, she was alone. Tori was already halfway out of Ninja Ops. "Search for those aliens," she called over her shoulder. "This shouldn't take too long."

Tori appeared at the quarry a couple of minutes later, a bit winded from the streaking. Spending a couple of days in her room, while absolutely necessary, hadn't done much for her physical fitness. Tori flinched at the possibly-cheerful thought and shoved it away.

She knew Cam had closed the window on the computer for her privacy. They had both agreed without words that Lothor had ordered those aliens to attack her in order to make her—Tori flinched again and focused on Cam. Why would Lothor send Kapri now?

"What do you want?" Tori growled through her helmet, already unsheathing her katana and holding it in the 'ready' position.

Kapri placed the bag on the ground and spread open her hands. "To apologize. Uncle knows it isn't much, really, but he never wanted you to miscarry. It was one of the generals who ordered the attack on you."

"Why would Lothor want me to have my baby?" Tori demanded, anger and sadness warring in her voice. Anger won. "To kidnap it and use it against me?" She flinched again—she was already referring to Blaise as 'it'. Her lips tightened in an attempt to stem the ever-ready sobs.

"No," Kapri said quietly. "Uncle values life."

"And yet he's trying to kill us," Tori replied hysterically, the katana shuddering her grasp.

Kapri shook her head. "Uncle wants your power, not your lives. I came to offer you this." She gestured to the bag. "It's an apology, given in physical form. One of his past generals—the general died before we came here—had a tradition on his home planet of offering a gift as an apology when the crime was grievous. Uncle adopted it. It's a wishing stone—within reason, you can make a wish on it and break the stone, and it will happen."

"A stone won't bring my baby back," Tori whispered.

Kapri stared at the ground. "I know. It's just—if we could turn back time, Uncle would have placed Zurgane under arrest before he ordered this."

"Zurgane?"

Kapri looked guilty. "Oops. Anyway, Uncle also wanted me to add that we will give you a two week truce." She disappeared into the sky, leaving Tori fuming.

The next time she saw Zurgane, he was going to_ pay._

_

* * *

_

After the uneasy truce was over and they got back to normal business—Lothor sent a monster, they destroyed it, he made it bigger, they destroyed it with more fireworks—Tori sat on the porch facing the waterfall. She'd gotten her period again, the last blow to her grief.

Blake watched her from inside Ninja Ops, worry making him frown. Tori hadn't told him what was wrong, and she'd been…more distant lately. Shane watched Blake pace, and finally he put his skateboard down. "Dude, she'll tell you what's wrong when she's ready."

Blake whirled around. "You know?"

Shane shrugged. "Doesn't take a genius to know when Tori's upset. Relax. Let her come to you, man."

Blake scowled, deciding to leave Ninja Ops before he hit something. Preferably Shane, but a lot of people might have some complaints.

Once Shane saw him go, he got up and walked to Tori. She watched the birds fly across the sky, longing in her eyes. "I think that's the first time I've ever seen you like birds," Shane remarked.

Tori's eyes flicked over to him. "This is the first time I ever wished that I could fly away," she retorted.

Shane paused. "You can't keep Blake out forever, you know."

Tori shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not ready."

"Acknowledgement would be nice, Tor. He's dying here, wanting to help you but not knowing how."

Tori closed her eyes. "I can't deal with his grief on top of mine," she whispered.

Shane put a hand on her shoulder, forcing her to face him. "That's selfish."

Surprise made Tori widen her eyes. "Selfish?"

"Yeah, Tor, selfish. He may not have known about Blaise, but he does deserve to know. He's the best one to comfort you." Shane stared at her, his tone belying his even words. "You know that."

Tori rubbed her eyes with hands that shook. "I just—don't know what to do," she replied helplessly. "I need some time alone, to think." To plan.

"The boys and I will be taking a camping trip soon," Shane told her, stroking her hair. "That help?"

"Maybe," Tori mumbled. "Maybe."

But there was never a good time after. Eventually, Tori gave up, trusting that a good occasion would come. It just might be after Lothor was defeated. But then Blake went on tour with Factory Blue, and Tori started teaching at the ninja school.

In the end, Blake never knew.


End file.
